It's my birthday.
and
i
am
so
happy
!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
I Found This Today; it's over two years old
ginger ail and ailing bodies
Current mood:apathetic
its the warm gun he's been clutching for hours, thinking, always thinking.
sweat on his brow, the bullets are loaded. cold feet when it's ninety degrees?
no, fingers itching to pull the trigger, yearning to free his troubled soul. the clock is a bomb ticking until the final explosion.
a moment of certainty, a minute of doubt.
another failure.
yeah this was dated march18 2009
go young me
Current mood:apathetic
its the warm gun he's been clutching for hours, thinking, always thinking.
sweat on his brow, the bullets are loaded. cold feet when it's ninety degrees?
no, fingers itching to pull the trigger, yearning to free his troubled soul. the clock is a bomb ticking until the final explosion.
a moment of certainty, a minute of doubt.
another failure.
yeah this was dated march18 2009
go young me
Friday, March 25, 2011
these all make sense to me....except 35
1. A Congregation of Alligators
2. A Cauldron of Bats
3. A Sleuth of Bears
4. A Flutter of Butterflies
5. A Clowder of Cats
6. A Coalition of Cheetahs
7. A Harem of Chimpanzees
8. A Quiver of Cobras
9. An Intrusion of Cockroaches
10. A Consortium of Crabs
11. A Murder of Crows
12. A Convocation of Eagles
13. A Battalion of Falcons
14. A Business of Ferrets
15. A Skulk of Foxes
16. A Tower of Giraffes
17. A Horde of Hamsters
18. A Thunder of Hippos
19. A Cackle of Hyenas
20. A Shadow of Jaguars
21. A Bloom of Jellyfish
22. A Court of Kangaroos
23. A Conspiracy of Lemurs
24. A Risk of Lobsters
25. A Scourge of Mosquitoes
26. A Wisdom of Owls
27. A Prickle of Porcupines
28. A Nursery of Raccoons
29. A Maelstrom of Salamanders
30. A Shoal of Seahorses
31. A Shiver of Sharks
32. A Hood of Snails
33. An Audience of Squid
34. A Cream of Turkeys
35. A Pot of Water Buffalo
What are people? congregation? crowd? wal mart?
2. A Cauldron of Bats
3. A Sleuth of Bears
4. A Flutter of Butterflies
5. A Clowder of Cats
6. A Coalition of Cheetahs
7. A Harem of Chimpanzees
8. A Quiver of Cobras
9. An Intrusion of Cockroaches
10. A Consortium of Crabs
11. A Murder of Crows
12. A Convocation of Eagles
13. A Battalion of Falcons
14. A Business of Ferrets
15. A Skulk of Foxes
16. A Tower of Giraffes
17. A Horde of Hamsters
18. A Thunder of Hippos
19. A Cackle of Hyenas
20. A Shadow of Jaguars
21. A Bloom of Jellyfish
22. A Court of Kangaroos
23. A Conspiracy of Lemurs
24. A Risk of Lobsters
25. A Scourge of Mosquitoes
26. A Wisdom of Owls
27. A Prickle of Porcupines
28. A Nursery of Raccoons
29. A Maelstrom of Salamanders
30. A Shoal of Seahorses
31. A Shiver of Sharks
32. A Hood of Snails
33. An Audience of Squid
34. A Cream of Turkeys
35. A Pot of Water Buffalo
What are people? congregation? crowd? wal mart?
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Work of This Morning
A Tale of Disappointment: varied quotes that have stood out to me
Once upon a time
Fore score and seven years ago
On a midnight summer’s eve
Wherefore art thou, Romeo
Love’s true kiss
Heads Carolina, tales California
Keep your lamp trimmed and burning
Eyes are windows to the soul
To be, or not to be
Peculiar, how very peculiar
What we have here, is a communication problem
No second line
I’m incredibly hypocritical
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all
Water; water everywhere, but not a drop to drink
Come down, dip your thumb in water and place it upon my tongue
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
I think in riddles, speak in prose, write in poems, and love in color
Once upon a time
Fore score and seven years ago
On a midnight summer’s eve
Wherefore art thou, Romeo
Love’s true kiss
Heads Carolina, tales California
Keep your lamp trimmed and burning
Eyes are windows to the soul
To be, or not to be
Peculiar, how very peculiar
What we have here, is a communication problem
No second line
I’m incredibly hypocritical
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all
Water; water everywhere, but not a drop to drink
Come down, dip your thumb in water and place it upon my tongue
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
I think in riddles, speak in prose, write in poems, and love in color
Succession of Knowledge
Three points of view
1. The bottle is almost empty, Christ its heavy.
“Shit!” where’s a damn towel?! Forget this, just another sweater to trash.
Sweet relief. The best burn, you wont begrudge me one last drink will ya honey? Whew, nice and strong. Of course, you won’t hold this against me. Ha ha ha. And even if she does, I won’t be facing her for a long time. I wonder if she’s watching. Prolly got ‘er nose too deep in those books to give a thought to what I do. Never cared a damn thing. Didn’t even love me. Better without that. This cup’s all I need for a lover. A toast to us, my friend! DAMMIT. Em’ll be mad if I stain her carpet. No—it’s my damn carpet now!
Smells nice, wonder how she got it so clean. Well that’s a pretty picture, is that new, Emma? Did you do it while I was at work? Baby, I love surprises. And you curled your hair; I like it best that way. Wait, Em, wait! I’m sorry for yelling. Don’t go. Damn I’ll never forgive you for leaving me alone like this.
2. He pours a class, the dark liquid splashing onto his white oxford sweater.
“Shit!” he exclaims, trying to sop up the stain with a frilly lavender hand towel.
After mumbling something that comes out sounding much like “Screw it”, he lifts the full glass to his red lips, the ones that usually smile underneath his arrow-straight nose, which begins protruding between his crystal, currently red-rimmed, eyes. A deep gulp, a deeper breath to steady himself, he probably can’t even recall why he started drinking. Maybe it was a kind of pain that drove him here, maybe he liked the fire, who knows? He downs more whiskey.
Another spatter, this one finds a home on the impeccably clean tan carpet. He bears a look that resembles worry or deep concentration but it fades before the alcohol even seeps in to the floor.
Sinking onto his knees, he drains the contents of the glass. It lands on the floor with a thud, and after a brief swaying moment, he follows suit.
He lies powerless, crumpled and broken, staring at the lavish crown molding, artfully encircling the place where creamy walls meet the ceiling. A smile shapes his lips while red glassy eyes rest on this decorative pattern, picked out on a happier day not to be recollected. It is the last image he beholds before the cold darkness pulls him under.
3. News Cast:
Yesterday, multi-millionaire Marcus A. Berwick, husband of heiress Catherine Berwick, was found dead in his uptown New York City penthouse. Mrs. Berwick had been oversees for a few months and declined an interview, but authorities say that a maid discovered the body on the living room floor upon coming in for her monthly cleaning. An autopsy revealed the cause of death as alcohol poisoning, due to a substance overdose. Time of death is estimated to be about two weeks prior this discovery. Neighbors were shocked to find out that this his body had gone so long undetected. One Camille Aram was quoted saying that she “would certainly be making an increased effort to check on the wellbeing of her neighbors in the future.” Maybe we should all take a little more time out of our daily schedules to think about others. Funeral dates are yet to be announced for Mr. Berwick but I’m certain many will come to pay their respects to this honored monument of our time.
1. The bottle is almost empty, Christ its heavy.
“Shit!” where’s a damn towel?! Forget this, just another sweater to trash.
Sweet relief. The best burn, you wont begrudge me one last drink will ya honey? Whew, nice and strong. Of course, you won’t hold this against me. Ha ha ha. And even if she does, I won’t be facing her for a long time. I wonder if she’s watching. Prolly got ‘er nose too deep in those books to give a thought to what I do. Never cared a damn thing. Didn’t even love me. Better without that. This cup’s all I need for a lover. A toast to us, my friend! DAMMIT. Em’ll be mad if I stain her carpet. No—it’s my damn carpet now!
Smells nice, wonder how she got it so clean. Well that’s a pretty picture, is that new, Emma? Did you do it while I was at work? Baby, I love surprises. And you curled your hair; I like it best that way. Wait, Em, wait! I’m sorry for yelling. Don’t go. Damn I’ll never forgive you for leaving me alone like this.
2. He pours a class, the dark liquid splashing onto his white oxford sweater.
“Shit!” he exclaims, trying to sop up the stain with a frilly lavender hand towel.
After mumbling something that comes out sounding much like “Screw it”, he lifts the full glass to his red lips, the ones that usually smile underneath his arrow-straight nose, which begins protruding between his crystal, currently red-rimmed, eyes. A deep gulp, a deeper breath to steady himself, he probably can’t even recall why he started drinking. Maybe it was a kind of pain that drove him here, maybe he liked the fire, who knows? He downs more whiskey.
Another spatter, this one finds a home on the impeccably clean tan carpet. He bears a look that resembles worry or deep concentration but it fades before the alcohol even seeps in to the floor.
Sinking onto his knees, he drains the contents of the glass. It lands on the floor with a thud, and after a brief swaying moment, he follows suit.
He lies powerless, crumpled and broken, staring at the lavish crown molding, artfully encircling the place where creamy walls meet the ceiling. A smile shapes his lips while red glassy eyes rest on this decorative pattern, picked out on a happier day not to be recollected. It is the last image he beholds before the cold darkness pulls him under.
3. News Cast:
Yesterday, multi-millionaire Marcus A. Berwick, husband of heiress Catherine Berwick, was found dead in his uptown New York City penthouse. Mrs. Berwick had been oversees for a few months and declined an interview, but authorities say that a maid discovered the body on the living room floor upon coming in for her monthly cleaning. An autopsy revealed the cause of death as alcohol poisoning, due to a substance overdose. Time of death is estimated to be about two weeks prior this discovery. Neighbors were shocked to find out that this his body had gone so long undetected. One Camille Aram was quoted saying that she “would certainly be making an increased effort to check on the wellbeing of her neighbors in the future.” Maybe we should all take a little more time out of our daily schedules to think about others. Funeral dates are yet to be announced for Mr. Berwick but I’m certain many will come to pay their respects to this honored monument of our time.
Written Yesterday
“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Well why the hell not? Here’s what they should say: you can’t teach a DUMB dog new tricks. Age aside, whether you’re thinking literal or applied, you can only teach the willing. With this idea, ignorance manifests not in some ‘natural stupidity’, but in a lack of desire to gain knowledge. Contrary to the belief that allows us to justify our laziness, people are not born smarter than others [not even Asians]. Some people are just harder working. Now don’t go getting all defensive-like, you red-blooded Americans. Work ethic enumerates from a myriad of places, not just your own choices. It’s bred into you from birth by your culture and upbringing. Your own decisions do come into play later in life, but these decisions are made with intellect gained during a lifetime of influence by others.
You CAN teach and old dog new tricks, as long as he sees a benefit in it for himself. Another problem in America today: self-centered attitudes.
“Amy, can you drop this slip off in the office for me?”
Now, Amy had a long day of classes and was on her way to her car, and a trip to the office would require her walking about a fourth of a mile’s distance out of the way to the parking lot. The asker in this situation is a close friend, a fellow student. No ample respect is needed with this casual relationship, and Amy would feel comfortable refusing. Which would you choose?
Now change it up a bit. Make the favor-asker Amy’s teacher. Same question, which answer?
What if the asker was her Mother? Is more respect going to be given in this scenario? What would you do in young Amy’s shoes?
You CAN teach and old dog new tricks, as long as he sees a benefit in it for himself. Another problem in America today: self-centered attitudes.
“Amy, can you drop this slip off in the office for me?”
Now, Amy had a long day of classes and was on her way to her car, and a trip to the office would require her walking about a fourth of a mile’s distance out of the way to the parking lot. The asker in this situation is a close friend, a fellow student. No ample respect is needed with this casual relationship, and Amy would feel comfortable refusing. Which would you choose?
Now change it up a bit. Make the favor-asker Amy’s teacher. Same question, which answer?
What if the asker was her Mother? Is more respect going to be given in this scenario? What would you do in young Amy’s shoes?
Plaid and navy sweaters, crisply starched button-downs. Smiles all around. Arranged by height, always on the top row, standing in the back. Knees threatening to buckle. Unseeing eyes full of apparent joy. One to the side, taller than the rest. The blonde haired boy smells like soap. A bright light too soon. I never cared for dairy anyway. A moment in time, captured past memory, till ink do us part.
Friday, March 18, 2011
toes sliding on cold granite
Sometimes, when its dark outside, and my parents aren't home, I dance on the counter.
And we danced, out there on that empty hardwood floor
I wanna dance with you, hold you in my arms once more, thats what they invented dancing for, I just wanna dance with you
The music played, we held each other close, and we danced
Dance, dance, wherever you may be, I am the Lord of the dance, said he
Just dance, its gonna be okay, just dance
Dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen, feel that beat from the tambourine
The dance we shared beneath the stars above, for a moment all the world was right
We danced in the morning when the sky turned black, its hard to dance with the devil on your back
Dance, dance, we're falling apart to halftime
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there
And we danced, out there on that empty hardwood floor
I wanna dance with you, hold you in my arms once more, thats what they invented dancing for, I just wanna dance with you
The music played, we held each other close, and we danced
Dance, dance, wherever you may be, I am the Lord of the dance, said he
Just dance, its gonna be okay, just dance
Dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen, feel that beat from the tambourine
The dance we shared beneath the stars above, for a moment all the world was right
We danced in the morning when the sky turned black, its hard to dance with the devil on your back
Dance, dance, we're falling apart to halftime
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there
Thursday, March 10, 2011
A Business Refusal
My Dearest Mr. Pertan,
It is my deepest regret to inform you that your request of marriage has been declined. I believe you to be an excellent man with many blossoming qualities, however, you do not quite meet the criteria for the position you wish to fill. A few more years (and a few less pounds) under the belt might do you conceivable good. I wholeheartedly appreciate your interest in my wellbeing, but the answer remains the same. May I have the pleasure of proposing a counter offer of friendship? I think that you might find this a suitable compromise of both of our wishes. Thank you for your time and consideration of these ideals, I await your answer promptly.
Not Quite Yours,
Ms. Dellan
It is my deepest regret to inform you that your request of marriage has been declined. I believe you to be an excellent man with many blossoming qualities, however, you do not quite meet the criteria for the position you wish to fill. A few more years (and a few less pounds) under the belt might do you conceivable good. I wholeheartedly appreciate your interest in my wellbeing, but the answer remains the same. May I have the pleasure of proposing a counter offer of friendship? I think that you might find this a suitable compromise of both of our wishes. Thank you for your time and consideration of these ideals, I await your answer promptly.
Not Quite Yours,
Ms. Dellan
hands.
everything is hands.
holding, falling, waking up, cleaning, comforting, loving, greeting, composing, talking, crying, frustration: hands.
This post at 7:56, by my hands. you got to this page, through your hands. I slapped you yesterday, with my hands. I'll love you tomorrow, with my hands.
They fit around a pencil; wipe eraser stubs off of my notebook. They tie my laces; put up my hair. Pet the dog.
A hug is hands and arms and bodies united. A high five is palms and fingers smarting. A promise is two pinkies intertwined for an instant.
my hands, my mediators.
holding, falling, waking up, cleaning, comforting, loving, greeting, composing, talking, crying, frustration: hands.
This post at 7:56, by my hands. you got to this page, through your hands. I slapped you yesterday, with my hands. I'll love you tomorrow, with my hands.
They fit around a pencil; wipe eraser stubs off of my notebook. They tie my laces; put up my hair. Pet the dog.
A hug is hands and arms and bodies united. A high five is palms and fingers smarting. A promise is two pinkies intertwined for an instant.
my hands, my mediators.
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