Saturday, November 13, 2010

Be How You Wish to Seem

i want to post bits of informations with slightly more importance and relevancy to the world than i have been doing.

A Review I Wrote in English.

--Snobiz Employment
With such limited experience, finding a solid after-school job can turn into a real chore for students hindered by busy schedules to accommodate. If you fall under this category, or if you simply do not want to look for a job that requires actual effort, then a job at Snobiz might offer just what you need, as long as you don’t mind broken equipment, a repulsive atmosphere, keeping up constant vigilance that you may need at any given moment in order to defend yourself from suspicious characters, and not to mention the task of cleaning filth with more filth everyday. Yes, if these concepts appeal to you, then your search ends here!
The crumbling counters, laden with their dilapidated equipment, hardly cause any hindrance at all, and can even provide ample entertainment at times. Including a malfunctioning air conditioner, ice chest with detached lid, and cash register that doesn’t like to do math, perhaps the spinning ice shaver, with its lack of protective lid, classifies as the most thrilling shortcoming of Snobiz. A massive block of hefty ice perches atop a razor-sharp cutting blade, attached to a large stand with its power cord trailing in a lake of melted ice. During my last adventure with this tool, I stood innocently, while refreshing ice water pelted me in the face, creating a beautiful masterpiece of a snocone for an expectant customer when, out of no where, the ice block dislodged itself from the machine’s black death grip and, in a desperate attempt at freedom, shot out at the window. Before it crashed to the ground and shattered into a million glittering slivers, the frozen cube managed not only to crush the sliding-glass window, but also to rebound off of it to draw blood from my right forearm. At least the gaping new hole in the window, which the boss has yet to replace, provides the occasional cool breeze that the broken air conditioner failed to do.
Like the aroma of onions mixed with body odor and feet? The green-brown-black, mold-caked, peeling, nylon “floor” brings not only a splash of color but also a biting, pungent odor to the atmosphere of the leaky hut. Chipped yellow and pink paint on the two rickety, backless stools, where employees pass many empty hours hunched over a magazine or book, adds quite some charm as well. Why two stools reside in such a small space to begin with baffles me. Possibly, the extra stool means to aid claustrophobia in consuming the employee in this already subatomic space. Then again, maybe the stool simply wants to drive the employee nearer to the various surrounding insects that inhabit this dilapidated dwelling. While sitting on your broken stool and chatting with these crawling critters, you may want to help yourself to a delicious free snocone. Well you just go right on ahead, have as many as your heart desires! May I suggest the flavor Frog in a Blender (Green Apple and Cherry)? It really compliments the crunch of ants and flies that drop from the blinding florescent light attached to a cracked ceiling. Don’t bother picking the bugs out; you’ll certainly need to stock up on energy before lugging the coffin-sized ice chest out to the warehouse.
When transporting ice back and forth from warehouse to matchbox sized shack, safety needs to remain front and center in the mind. A car might turn the corner too swiftly without time to see you, so you must always keep a sharp eye out for danger. I personally choose to arm myself with a small bottle of mace or an ice pick when venturing outside of the paper-thick fortress to pick up extra cups or ice; one never knows when a strange man might approach asking for help in finding his dog/cat/iguana/etc.
Cleanliness makes everyone happy here, so I never for get to keep surfaces nice and tidy. It’s as simple as grabbing a holey rag and wiping down the ten-year old stain-speckled linoleum counter tops to eradicate a better portion of the sticky syrup spills that add up after a long day. A once white but now iron colored mop rests outside between the trash bin and wooden wall of the shack. I asked the boss to demonstrated how to properly swab the floors and he proceeded to do so by wetting the mop in the dishwashing sink and then slopping it across the filthy floor a few times to “loosen up the dirt” as he phrased it. After everything shines and gleams like the morning sun, the employee may lock up the door and the broken window, and then speed home to freedom.
With all of these enchanting characteristics, you might find yourself hard-pressed not to run out and get an application right this instant. Although it may tempt you to your limits and put your willpower to the test to do so, I feel obligated to discourage anyone with mold allergies, who does not love to sweat profusely, who lives free of antisocial tendencies, or who does not appreciate the beauty of dirt from applying here. If you do find yourself wanting a pointless employment that offers special features such as mold, intense amounts of sugar, and health and wellness inhibitors, then come on by and tell your friends to stop in too because, for some unknown reason, Snobiz is finding itself slightly understaffed this season.

I have more essays but I refuse to overwhelm this computer any further at the moment.

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